My relationship with my mother isn’t like that of a whole lot of people. Most people have the option of getting to know their mother through out their childhood. I didn’t have that.
Although I’d met her several times as a child, I didn’t bond with her. I didn’t know she was my mother. If you’ve read through my family stories you’ll know she was forced to give me up when I was a toddler. Too young to have any real memories. I was living with a Mennonite Pastor’s family as one of their children. My mother was just another duty that belonged to the church.
How she must have ached to see me in her home and to watch me reach for comfort in the arms of another woman. As if the months she carried me close to her heart meant nothing. And she couldn’t say anything for fear that the other children would be taken from her too.
My beloved mother. I remember the tears in her face when I, at the age of seven, finally came home with her. She was a stranger to me, as well as to my sister who’d been taken in by a couple who hadn’t been able to have their own children. But she tried so hard to make up for the years of love we missed out on. I see that now.
16 years it’s been since I met my mother. I love her dearly for the things she had to go through to make sure we grew up as good Christian people. For the tears she cried, the prayers she spoke, and the constant effort she put into raising us.
I wish I hadn’t given her such a hard time about us not having material things. Did I honestly expect her to go get a job with no education behind her just so I could have something fancy. I’m ashamed of how rude I was to my mother when I was young. She didn’t deserve that. But she never stopped loving me.
I want my mother to be proud of who I am and what I become. She is an inspiration to me. She has been strong in situations where I would likely have quit and given up. Sure she’ll never have a lot of money, but for her love, she is one of the richest women I know.
I can only hope that when I have children, I can be just a little bit of the mother she is.
Happy Mother’s Day Mom! I love you.