I Get It Now

I get it now, why some days I feel so out of touch; like I don’t really know what I’m living for. Somebody asked me if I was okay the other day, saying I didn’t seem like myself. I blamed it on the heat, said I was tired. Maybe that was it, but maybe it wasn’t.

Six years ago at a youth retreat, when I was playing my guitar for Him.

Picture with me if you will, a guitar that hasn’t been tuned in a while, but get’s played anyway. Sometimes it takes those with musical talent to notice that things don’t sound right, other times it’s just painfully obvious that something is being neglected.

That’s me, guys. I’m that guitar, and my spiritual strings are so out of tune that it’s beginning to affect my day to day life. I have nobody to blame but me. There were days where praying was just something I did. Words uttered under my breath while I went about my day, from dawn to dusk, prayers were uttered at any given moment.

I don’t understand why I stopped. Did I do something wrong that made me suddenly feel unworthy of having my prayers heard?  Maybe.

My mother’s German/English Bible

I confess I don’t read my Bible as much as I used to, or should. I was going so strong, for a while, I know I was, but then…I just didn’t, and I don’t understand why.

How did I allow my priorities to change? What did I think was suddenly more important? I don’t understand it, but I get it now.

I get why some days I feel so lifeless; like I’m just going through the motions to get through another day. Because I am.

It’s past midnight as I write this and I think…God just woke me up!

So help me, I want to live for Him now more than I ever did!

Margaret.

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